Why Living Alone is the Best Thing I’ve Ever Done

As I’ve been thinking more and more about moving to LA, I’ve started to visualize everything I want in an apartment – a balcony for coffee outside, a bright white kitchen, great walkability (gotta manifest it ya know) – and my biggest non-negotiable: living alone.

I’ve lived alone in San Francisco for the past year and a half, and I can honestly say it might be the best decision I’ve ever made. In 2017, I was deep in my quarter-life crisis. So deep that at one point I hatched a plan to quit my job, move out of SF and back into my parents house in SD basically overnight (note: that luckily did not happen). There was a lot at the root of my unhappiness, but a large component was feeling like I was ready to be done with living with roommates, and in SF the typical path out of roommatehood is moving in with a boyfriend (which was also not happening).

I felt completely trapped and stuck (probably two of the worst feelings) until I finally got off my ass and started looking for studios I could afford in SF (rent here is not cheap guys). And honestly, I feel like this apartment was handed to me on a platter by the universe. It was the first studio I saw in person, and the second I walked inside I teared up – it felt so beyond right, and like the start of the next chapter. And after a hectic Sunday running around the city looking for a place to get a cashier’s check for a deposit, I got it.

I still get emotional sometimes sitting in my little studio. It’s such a sacred space to me, and has already been my home through such major growth and transition. I am so beyond grateful for this space and this chapter, and would encourage anyone who’s curious about living alone to DO IT. It will change you in the best way.

Here’s what I’ve loved most about living alone:

1. You gain TRUE independence

I’ve always considered myself an independent person, but the independence living alone forces you to develop is next level. If you run out of something, you can’t just borrow it from your roommate. If something breaks, you need to fix it. Utility bills? You’re responsible for paying every single one of them, on time.  Basically, it forces you to take 100% ownership and accountability for every aspect of your life – you have no back up / no one to rely on at home.

It was an adjustment at first for sure, but is SO empowering. Knowing you can do life completely by yourself gives you the best feeling of self confidence that you can handle anything.

And as a single woman, there’s truly nothing better than knowing you are 100% okay, happy, whole, and thriving by on your own. You don’t need anyone, so anyone who comes into your life should only be making it better.  And if they don’t, you always have this place to come back to, because you’re a whole, self-sufficient human on your own.

2. You REALLY get to know yourself

Again, I thought I was an introspective, self-aware person before living alone – I do yoga, I meditate, I journal – I do all the things. But when you don’t have roommates to chat as an often times welcome distraction, you’re forced to sit with yourself. If I’m anxious or lonely, I can’t wander into the shared living room to distract myself, I have to deal those feelings and turn them around on my own.

I also think there’s something to be said for really learning your own preferences – this space is entirely yours, so everything from how you decorate it to how clean you keep it to what you spend your time doing in it is completely up to you.

3. You have the freedom to whatever the hell you want

Man if this isn’t just the most glorious feeling. It’s so good sometimes I worry about how I’ll do living with a partner one day because I love the freedom of having a space that is completely mine SO MUCH. If I want to spend a day not talking to anyone, I can do that. If I want to wake up at 5am and turn on every light to workout in my living room, I can. If I want to go crazy cleaning my apartment I can be sure no one’s going to mess it up. If I’m running late and want to leave my kitchen an absolute disaster, no problem. Not mention there’s no requirement for clothing ever. IT’S THE BEST.

Plus, I know this type of self-indulgent freedom of not having to put anyone’s needs above my own is temporary (hi future husband & babies) which makes me enjoy this chapter even more. I truly believe your 20s are YOUR time – to figure yourself out, to do you, to put yourself first – and living alone is the best way to capitalize on that.

I know living alone is not for everyone – both from a personality and a practical standpoint – but it has made such a positive impact on my life, I can’t help but want to encourage more people to consider it.

Do you guys have experience living alone? What’s your take on it?